Saturday, February 14, 2015

Zombie of the Month February 2015- The Lovely Ladies of Malifaux, Part One: Dead Doxies (metal edition)

   I love dead hookers. 

   There, I said it. I admit it. I love all zombies, but the zombies I love most are zombies with something special about them. And, at least for me, any zombie that looks like it was already walking the streets before it became undead has a story, and that makes it special. So I love zombie hookers. They're like the "Brides of Dracula" of the zombie world- beautiful, hideous, and deadly all at once. And no one does undead hookers like Malifaux. So, here they are, the first in what I hope will eventually be several editions of Malifaux Ladies:

The Zombie of the Month- February 2015- Dead Doxies by Wyrd Miniatures (metal edition)

   What’s so great about these Zombies? Like I said, hooker zombies have a special place in my heart. Why? I think that a zombie prostitute perfectly captures the essence of what makes zombies creepy, in a way nothing else can. Especially when they are Victorian prostitutes. Victorian clothing is among the most beautiful clothing ever created, and the clothing of prostitutes is always designed to be the most alluring. Put all that together, and what you end up with are the most beautiful women in the world with some of the loveliest garb in history... twisted and marred by the grotesque features of death and decay. That is the crux of what makes zombies disturbing. Zombies are a distortion of the beauty of the living human body- limbs at impossible angles, insides exposed to the outside, all while still moving in some horrible mockery of a living state. Add beautiful clothing to that, and the disturbing contrast becomes even more poignant. 

The Basics:

Scale- Malifaux is a 32mm scale game, allowing plenty of room for more lovely details. And these girls are not dinky even for that scale, measuring 37mm to top of the head... and by that, I mean, the head that is still attached, not the girl who's holding her head suspended above her bloody neck.

Genre- Victorian- the best genre for that zombie hooker effect 

Material- Metal- don't worry, when they sculpt the new plastic ones, I'll review them too!!!!!

Parts ‘N’ Bits- I don't think these came with any extra pieces. I actually got mine used, because there aren't that many still out there, so I'm not sure.

Assembly- Again, being used, mine came assembled. Knowing Malifaux, there were more pieces than there needed to be, but you might not still find any new blisters out there, so assembly might be irrelevent.

Bases- Most metal Malifaux models come with 30mm slotted lipped bases. I imagine these do as well.


Sculpt- 5 brains out of 5- I guess I could have made this a 4. I'm sure they are not perfect, but frankly, I'm so distracted by the feathers, folds, and striking poses that I just don't notice the mistakes. The pose of the one tipping her hat and the other one holding her head 6 inches above her shoulders? There's a reason I didn't wait until they resculpted these girls to get a pair- I'm terrified they will change something about them that is currently awesome.

Affordability- 2 brains out of 5- If you can find them retail, they will run you around $14 for the pair. However, that's not terribly likely. So I'm leaving this affordability really low, under the assumption that you will need to spend at least that, if you can find someone willing to part with them, and that's if no one else bidding on Ebay wants them more than that.

Value- 3 brains out of 5- As far as a general zombie horde goes, they are not that terribly important, considering how hard they are to find at this point. They are, however, wonderful to look at, and have great personalities. If you are building a collection of great characters, or a themed horde that they match, this will, of                                                                 course, be higher.

Availability- 1 brain out of 5- And by one, I mean, basically zero. Trust me. I'm really good at finding things, and I'm telling you, there aren't that many out there. If you want them, and you actually see them being sold somewhere, don't hesitate.

Pros: Great addition to your fataled femmes collection- beautiful and daring

Cons: Pretty specialized, and a larger scale that, while gaining popularity, probably won't match most games in which you are using your zombie horde

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